These are the things that were really on my heart last night, but this whole stuff-I-knew thing, is starting to grow into a book! So here’s the last 5 for now. 
6. I wish I knew early on that I had a choice. I could be in this marriage wholly or miserably. ‘Cause when I put my whole self into something, I know how to make it work. Or at least make the best of it. And when I choose to begrudgingly participate, boy, can I take down the team! The flip side is that my expressive personality can also motivate and encourage others to good things. But when Mommie gets grumpy - WATCH OUT! Oh man, I’m so lucky to still be married!
7. I wish I knew that I picked the right one. Or God did. I used to think my man was a punishment from God. See, in my world, even God was all about ME. See #2.
8. Like gold through fire, like iron on iron or metal or something like that - it refines us. And not so that we can be better in heaven - better NOW. I wish I had this picture of marriage when I started… maybe I would have been happier to keep working it out? If you are in a rough spot, or if I’m reading this in a week and we’re fighting it out again, just know that the discomfort will be worth it one day. We gain a better understanding of our partner, we gain a respect and a value for his opinions, we gain a deeper appreciation for the sacrifices that he makes to live with us. If this isn’t enough about you, see #2. The rewards of a well-fought-for marriage are immeasurable. I am blessed daily by this Loving Man. Have I told you that I get coffee in bed daily? Yeah. THAT blessed.
9. warning: PG: I wish I knew that sex drives change. We don’t have to keep the same deal (3x / month on Mondays except the last Monday of the month - then it’s sunday. But not after 7PM) forever. Things change. And that’s okay. One thing I feel passionately about(ok, one thing among many) is that the Christian wife’s JOB is not her HUSBAND, do you hear what I’m saying, girls? There are a ton of books out there on sex, some of them sound like a lot of fun. But I take great exception to the ones about how the wife must ‘help’ her hubby to meet this NEED - you know: how God made us all? Air, food, water, sex. Puh-leaze! What if Christ was covering you as a couple and wrapping your bedroom in a safe and beautiful romantic weave. Now, would Christ be protecting your union? Or trying to protect YOU? PLEASE sisters. Please know that the God I believe in, takes you seriously. He loves you and wants to protect you, and there is nothing in the Bible or Christian lifestyle that even suggests Christ would be okay with sexual dominance or pressure or abuse. You and I are beautiful daughters of the King and we, heart and soul and body, deserve to be treated with kindness and love and respect. Kinda takes a second to process doesn’t it?
10. I wish I knew that it would get better. Cause it does. We are on year 13, and I do believe that this is the best yet. The first 6 or so years, I could have lived without. But then maybe I wouldn’t have this tremendous love for the man I’m with. If only you knew where we’ve come from, Mommies, you’d realize how amazing it is that I write these things. God can work miracles. And I am a living example. I love this man, this gift, with my whole heart and soul.
I don’t know if I wish you an easy marriage, friends, but I do wish you love and peace and joy,
Love,
These are the things that were really on my heart last night, but this whole stuff-I-knew thing, is starting to grow into a book! So here’s the last 5 for now.
6. I wish I knew early on that I had a choice. I could be in this marriage wholly or miserably. ‘Cause when I put my whole self into something, I know how to make it work. Or at least make the best of it. And when I choose to begrudgingly participate, boy, can I take down the team! The flip side is that my expressive personality can also motivate and encourage others to good things. But when Mommie gets grumpy - WATCH OUT! Oh man, I’m so lucky to still be married!
7. I wish I knew that I picked the right one. Or God did. I used to think my man was a punishment from God. See, in my world, even God was all about ME. See #2.
8. Like gold through fire, like iron on iron or metal or something like that - it refines us. And not so that we can be better in heaven - better NOW. I wish I had this picture of marriage when I started… maybe I would have been happier to keep working it out? If you are in a rough spot, or if I’m reading this in a week and we’re fighting it out again, just know that the discomfort will be worth it one day. We gain a better understanding of our partner, we gain a respect and a value for his opinions, we gain a deeper appreciation for the sacrifices that he makes to live with us. If this isn’t enough about you, see #2. The rewards of a well-fought-for marriage are immeasurable. I am blessed daily by this Loving Man. Have I told you that I get coffee in bed daily? Yeah. THAT blessed.
9. warning: PG: I wish I knew that sex drives change. We don’t have to keep the same deal (3x / month on Mondays except the last Monday of the month - then it’s sunday. But not after 7PM) forever. Things change. And that’s okay. One thing I feel passionately about(ok, one thing among many) is that the Christian wife’s JOB is not her HUSBAND, do you hear what I’m saying, girls? There are a ton of books out there on sex, some of them sound like a lot of fun. But I take great exception to the ones about how the wife must ‘help’ her hubby to meet this NEED - you know: how God made us all? Air, food, water, sex. Puh-leaze! What if Christ was covering you as a couple and wrapping your bedroom in a safe and beautiful romantic weave. Now, would Christ be protecting your union? Or trying to protect YOU? PLEASE sisters. Please know that the God I believe in, takes you seriously. He loves you and wants to protect you, and there is nothing in the Bible or Christian lifestyle that even suggests Christ would be okay with sexual dominance or pressure or abuse. You and I are beautiful daughters of the King and we, heart and soul and body, deserve to be treated with kindness and love and respect. Kinda takes a second to process doesn’t it?
10. I wish I knew that it would get better. Cause it does. We are on year 13, and I do believe that this is the best yet. The first 6 or so years, I could have lived without. But then maybe I wouldn’t have this tremendous love for the man I’m with. If only you knew where we’ve come from, Mommies, you’d realize how amazing it is that I write these things. God can work miracles. And I am a living example. I love this man, this gift, with my whole heart and soul.
I don’t know if I wish you an easy marriage, friends, but I do wish you love and peace and joy,
Love,